So you want to renew your driver's license...

Today I decided to look into renewing my driver's license since it will expire this month. I went on line first to renew my car's registration. Filled out the form, used the info from my renewal statement that came in the mail, hit send, voila registration completed.

Next I was ready to renew my driver's license. When I go to the first page this is what I see:


Step 1a: Certify Conditions
By exercising this method of renewal, I am certifying under penalty of law the following:
- I have received a Louisiana computer generated mail-in renewal invitation.
- I have not experienced any loss of consciousness other than normal sleep.
- I do not have any mental or physical condition that would impair my ability to operate a motor vehicle safely.
Blah-de-blah blah about registration - so on and so forth, amen.

I certify the above statements to be true and correct. Yes, No

Ok. First what the heck do they mean have I not loss consciousness other than normal sleep. Really? Are they really asking this on this form? I just find that bizarre. Secondly - can I really honestly say I have no mental condition. I am almost 50 years old with 2 kids under 11 years old, own my own business with plenty stressful episodes daily, and so goes my life. Are they really expecting me to answer this honestly? Third(ly?), I am too honest sometimes. I can not continue on because I did not get a renewal in the mail.

So, now I have to call the DMV (or in the New Orleans area - the driver''s license place). After going through the automated directions (now here is a blog just waiting to happen - computer generated voice directions vs. a human - ok, a human that speaks English as their first or second language. People we live in the USA. Our official language is English. I expect to speak English or have someone at least understand English when they are in customer service. Another time though.) I am in the queue for 7 minutes, caller number 20. Thank goodness for speaker phones. Not only does the DMV have music on hold but helpful tips about driving, getting your license, registration and so on.

When I do speak to a customer service rep I am told that I can not renew on line because I did not get a renewal/invitation. She said they are like jury duty - some people get them and some don't. She said that when I go to the DMV (synonymous with going to the dentist or GYN) to make sure I have paperwork, my license and cash - $24.50. Now why? Why not $25? Will they make change? No check. No credit card. Just cash. $24.50. And she says to be sure when I get my license that my name and address is correct before I get out of line. I did not ask but I suppose if you are walking out, see they spelled your name wrong or gave you a different name or address and you go back, you have to pull a number and wait all over again. Now I don't know about you but that is just wrong.

I do not relish the idea of having to go there in the first place. The pool of humanity can be off the charts. There are things being said, stories being told or scenarios that just make my mind run amok that I would rather not experience. Secondly I feel intimidated in there. They have the power and they know it. I ain't messing around with them - you best believe. I want quick in and quick out. A nice photo would be a bonus but they can't pose you or tell you that "The first shot makes you look fat. Let's take another one darlin." Oh no. "Look here." Click. "That's all you get now move on." That's it for the next 2 years. And how about the weight question? I hope I don't get a look over the glasses or a "A huh". That would set me off and I can't afford to do that.

So wish me luck. Maybe I can use the experience for another blog. Or maybe I should pray I get a renewal form/invitation in the mail next time. Watch me get jury duty instead.

I'm off to unconsciousness.